what deities are people worshiping these days? call me blasphemous but i think it's probably some double post modern iconography involving advertising, branding, and celebrity.

lunch with bob. pause.

anarchy

there are different characteristics one looks for. instinctively. intrinsically. it's not all physical nor all mental. it's has to be a combination of both in varying balance. symbolically this can be known as chemistry. one of the identifying markers is the different kinds of laughter. unrelated to the humor that triggers the actual event, the response is a key indicator to attraction. the first is a subtle giggle usually followed by a self concious trigger that too much emotion has been displayed. a simple mouth cover, a subtle turn away. this is usually followed closely by a normal laugh pattern. usually what one would display when a friend told a humorous story or joke. this stays constant through out any relationship. another variation is the full body laugh. used only for close acquaintances, this signifies openness and a self confidence that comes with having a wider range of feeling for those in context. the counter to this is that with the increased range of happiness and self worth, the opposite is also true. a variable rate of sadness can sometimes lead to a larger well of depression because of the happiness caused on the other range of the spectrum. if one looks out for these cues, the breadth of the relationship can open up and each entity can increase pleasure of both the company each one keeps while allowing for a better read of relations and contextual situations.

i've spent time pondering truth. the general idea is that thinking and/or existing are a series of interrelated (or not) realities and at any one time what's real isn't really real at all. e.g. you and i have separate realities; e.g. i and he have separate realities; eg. what is or was happening to one subject at one time is not necessarily (ever?) happening to another. and memories! to add nostalgia, or forgetfulness, or even a well placed lie complicates the matter entirely. reflection begets a question or two. how can something ever be considered true when nothing really (as in for real) (in reality) exists on a planar system of understanding? i'm wondering how standardization even happened. i will keep telling myself everything is based on the lies of the rich.

I sat in that meeting facing my manager and my colleagues. The track lighting above smelled of burning. plastics. new installation done as well as anything else anywhere. systematic failure on the grandeous scale of a world's fair. After a significant ping pong of non-ideas, entities and statements, I chimed in. I would do the work that no one would do. I would ante up and realize we're all reincarnated with all our experiences over and over again. some nights i dream of the first time i was in third grade. some times i dream of it so vividly my new self breaks through and tells them how it really is. how it doesn't matter. how it's over. and then i change into my sandals and walk on the beach. that's life.